Scared

Today I worked from home. This is something I love to do. I don’t get interrupted by phone calls all day, I can work in my pjs (as long as there is tape over the webcam! See yesterday’s post for further examples of my extreme paranoia!!), I am in close proximity to the kettle and my cats are always snoring or purring nearby. Oh, and I get to watch Bargain Hunt at lunchtime!

Today’s reason for working from home was to write a handover project plan for my “replacement” (Along with most other people in the company, I am being made redundant in March as the business moves to a new area).  I’ve been trying to convince myself that the reason I hadn’t already finished this project plan was because I have been bogged down with too much other work. While this is almost completely true, I must admit that the real reason it hadn’t even been started was because I am bricking it.  I’m scared. Terrified even. 

I am the only person remaining on the department, which means it is down to me to hand over everything. What if I forget something? What if there is something I don’t know? How can I single-handedly do a handover when I’m still up to my ears in the day job because there is nobody else here to do it?

And as I slowly began to put my project plan together, there it was in black and white – the end date. The end of almost 11 years in the job, surrounded by wonderful people who have become real friends. Every day somebody else is leaving and it feels as if I am standing alone on a sinking ship.  I will be one of the last to go – there won’t be anyone left that I can send a “farewell” e-mail to. I’ll just switch off my computer and go home.

And then what??? I will start a new job and meet new people, and I’m sure, one day I will feel the same way about those people and that job as I do about this one. But for now I’m just plain scared.

When Will I Be Famous?

Mid-March apparently! I heard back from Weight Watchers magazine today and they have confirmed that I will be in the April issue!
I had my article read back to me over the phone and it’s lovely. I was so worried that I would come out of it looking like a right old cow (don’t know why but think it’s just because I don’t want to be the one that stands out – unless drunk obviously!).
So, bit more of a wait until I can see the photos, but at least I know they’re actually putting me in the mag (more paranoia….well, I’m good at it!!).
And, unless I want to be gazing at those photos thinking “that’s what I used to look like before I got lazy”, I suppose I’d better get my butt to bootcamp tonight!

Last Christmas

Back at work today, and I must warn you that this post will not be brimming with joy.
When you work in pension administration, it is a sad fact that the first day back after Christmas will have the phones ringing off the hook. Why? Because a lot of elderly people die over Christmas and New Year (I did warn you about the lack of joy….). I think it’s because they try to hold on for one last Christmas.
The day started off pretty badly for me when I was bitchslapped by a cat bowl, so I was feeling a bit sorry for myself when I got into work. By half past nine, I had checked 26 voicemail messages and spoken to 3 crying widows. At that point, I had what I like to call a “cubicle cry”. You know the ones: where you go to the loos, lock yourself in the furthest cubicle and have a good old sob.
After 5 minutes, a fair few tissues and an unrecoverable loss of mascara, I pulled myself together. Alright, I’m having a crap day, but that is nothing compared to the bereaved families, whose loss is made all the worse for it being at Christmas.
So, after duly telling myself off, I decided to stop being such a mope and get the hell on with it. The rest of the day was one of the most productive I have had in yonks. Amazing what a good old cubicle cry and a talk to yourself can do!

Bad luck?

I have taken the Christmas decorations down. No big deal, you may think, but in our house, tradition states that they should stay up until the 6th of January or you will have bad luck all year.

I’m no great believer in superstition – I walk under ladders on purpose and love it when people look at me as if they expect the sky to fall down on my head immediately. I never forward on those e-mails that tell me I will die alone if I do not forward them on to my entire address book within 5 milliseconds.  I’ve broken a few mirrors in my lifetime and not gone into a total mental breakdown about the doom that awaits me. I do, however, salute magpies. Well, they’re vicious bastards and I wouldn’t want them to peck me to death…..

So I have compromised a bit and left the wreath on the front door. That’ll do it, right?? *crosses fingers* *knocks on wood*

Moonwalk Training Day 1

I am doing the Moonwalk on 12/13 May this year and, having read through the training pack, I have realised that I really do need to take training seriously.  To be honest, I was feeling quite relaexed about it at first.  Well, ok, it’s marathon distance but it’s just a long walk really isn’t it? NO is the answer to that. This is a whole new kettle of fish – power walking. The training pack says I should aim for 6 hours to complete the walk.  That’s about 4.25 mph.  I know somebody who RAN a marathon in October and it took her 5 hours! Reality check!

So, I have written out a plan that is pretty tough going, especially on top of bootcamp, but I am damned serious when I say I am going to stick to it. No choice in the matter now. If the pack says aim for 6 hours….well, me being me, I’m going to want to do it in 5.5 hrs!

Today was Day 1 and I learned a few things on my first walk:

1) When mapping out my route, I need to try not to put loads of really steep hills in it!

2) Despite mapping out the route and then writing it down, I still went the wrong way. Basically I need sat nav!

3) I really do need to make my routes a bit more scenic than the Old Chester Road and Borough Road!

4) EVERY child in Birkenhead got a bloody scooter for Christmas and the pavements are now a dangerous place to be.

5) There are LOADS of Co-Ops around here!

Today’s distance: 3 miles

Today’s time 45 mins