Today I worked from home. This is something I love to do. I don’t get interrupted by phone calls all day, I can work in my pjs (as long as there is tape over the webcam! See yesterday’s post for further examples of my extreme paranoia!!), I am in close proximity to the kettle and my cats are always snoring or purring nearby. Oh, and I get to watch Bargain Hunt at lunchtime!
Today’s reason for working from home was to write a handover project plan for my “replacement” (Along with most other people in the company, I am being made redundant in March as the business moves to a new area). I’ve been trying to convince myself that the reason I hadn’t already finished this project plan was because I have been bogged down with too much other work. While this is almost completely true, I must admit that the real reason it hadn’t even been started was because I am bricking it. I’m scared. Terrified even.
I am the only person remaining on the department, which means it is down to me to hand over everything. What if I forget something? What if there is something I don’t know? How can I single-handedly do a handover when I’m still up to my ears in the day job because there is nobody else here to do it?
And as I slowly began to put my project plan together, there it was in black and white – the end date. The end of almost 11 years in the job, surrounded by wonderful people who have become real friends. Every day somebody else is leaving and it feels as if I am standing alone on a sinking ship. I will be one of the last to go – there won’t be anyone left that I can send a “farewell” e-mail to. I’ll just switch off my computer and go home.
And then what??? I will start a new job and meet new people, and I’m sure, one day I will feel the same way about those people and that job as I do about this one. But for now I’m just plain scared.